I went to an amazing seminar yesterday put on by the Institute for Brain Potential..."Listening to the Body". Amazing concept, yes? Seems that if we would slow down enough to actually allow ourselves to hear, feel, comprehend what our bodies are 'telling' us we could avoid some of the big stuff that sneaks up and kicks our butts!!! Is is really that easy? Well, it has proven to be that easy...but the art of listening to our body in itself can get tricky..why is that?
We are all so darn involved in everything...our business, their business, everyone's business. We humans have an issue with control. Felling that it is OUR responsibility to make sure everyone is holding up THEIR end of being responsible...and it really does not matter what subject we are talking...it can be anything...keeping the house picked up, raising the kids, getting groceries, fixing meals, meeting the deadline for a new project at work, yada yada yada....just fill in the blank. We continue to put so much pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect (which of course is only a label...cause what is really perfect??).
Our bodies are put under constant threat when we go to the emotional responses that have become habits. When something happens in our daily lives...we automatically go to the "what just happened?" response.. our heart rate rises, our breath changes, we may become flushed, feel warm all over...so on and so on. What do we do about all of this? We go full force on ourselves to 'change' the response....start to breathe slower...learn techniques to change that response. Well, interestingly, that push to change can actually put more stress on us!!! YIKES....what the heck?!?!?!
What about something called Feed Forward....so instead of punishing and pushing to change an old response....insert a new behavior...hmmmmm. So when you find yourself starting to go to a stress response as your default...something that usually upsets you and you usually react in an emotionally upsetting way...insert an alternative behavior that will allow you to gently nudge the old response in a different more responsibly positive reaction. The whole thing is BEING AWARE of where your body responses are going...identify what stresses you, acknowledge them, give yourself permission to be stressed, allow another response to enter into the situation, while not punishing yourself and pushing to
CHANGE the old response, something that is probably pretty darn deeply set in you....give yourself an additional more relaxed response. Chances are as you continue to grow with this new practice of Feed Forward your body will begin to respond in a positive way. You may think "Hmmmm, I like this response better!"
So....let's say Phone Rings (which is a stress trigger for you)...
Current Response....Oh no, I wonder who that is. What do they want? How is this call going to play out? I wonder if they will ask 'this' or maybe 'that'? (heart rate increases...palms get sweaty as you reach for the ringing phone)...ok...so now let the phone ring a couple more times so you can..
Insert New Behavior...Yep, my heart rate is increasing...palms a little moist ...I am going to take a deep breath, visualize that relaxed time when (insert a time that you were so relaxed) ....AND
Back to Current Situation...Answer the phone.
Now, of course, this takes some rehearsal, and maybe some assistance from a coach, therapist etc, but it can really change what your body goes through at the moment of stress. We acknowledge the fight or flight response and insert a more rational healthy response. We cannot predict how something is going to happen...so don't!!
People, I am tellin' ya'....we need to learn techniques to force us to become aware of what our bodies are saying to us...LISTEN.
We are all so darn involved in everything...our business, their business, everyone's business. We humans have an issue with control. Felling that it is OUR responsibility to make sure everyone is holding up THEIR end of being responsible...and it really does not matter what subject we are talking...it can be anything...keeping the house picked up, raising the kids, getting groceries, fixing meals, meeting the deadline for a new project at work, yada yada yada....just fill in the blank. We continue to put so much pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect (which of course is only a label...cause what is really perfect??).
Our bodies are put under constant threat when we go to the emotional responses that have become habits. When something happens in our daily lives...we automatically go to the "what just happened?" response.. our heart rate rises, our breath changes, we may become flushed, feel warm all over...so on and so on. What do we do about all of this? We go full force on ourselves to 'change' the response....start to breathe slower...learn techniques to change that response. Well, interestingly, that push to change can actually put more stress on us!!! YIKES....what the heck?!?!?!
What about something called Feed Forward....so instead of punishing and pushing to change an old response....insert a new behavior...hmmmmm. So when you find yourself starting to go to a stress response as your default...something that usually upsets you and you usually react in an emotionally upsetting way...insert an alternative behavior that will allow you to gently nudge the old response in a different more responsibly positive reaction. The whole thing is BEING AWARE of where your body responses are going...identify what stresses you, acknowledge them, give yourself permission to be stressed, allow another response to enter into the situation, while not punishing yourself and pushing to
CHANGE the old response, something that is probably pretty darn deeply set in you....give yourself an additional more relaxed response. Chances are as you continue to grow with this new practice of Feed Forward your body will begin to respond in a positive way. You may think "Hmmmm, I like this response better!"
So....let's say Phone Rings (which is a stress trigger for you)...
Current Response....Oh no, I wonder who that is. What do they want? How is this call going to play out? I wonder if they will ask 'this' or maybe 'that'? (heart rate increases...palms get sweaty as you reach for the ringing phone)...ok...so now let the phone ring a couple more times so you can..
Insert New Behavior...Yep, my heart rate is increasing...palms a little moist ...I am going to take a deep breath, visualize that relaxed time when (insert a time that you were so relaxed) ....AND
Back to Current Situation...Answer the phone.
Now, of course, this takes some rehearsal, and maybe some assistance from a coach, therapist etc, but it can really change what your body goes through at the moment of stress. We acknowledge the fight or flight response and insert a more rational healthy response. We cannot predict how something is going to happen...so don't!!
People, I am tellin' ya'....we need to learn techniques to force us to become aware of what our bodies are saying to us...LISTEN.
